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Q: Whats worse than getting fingered by Captain Hook? A: Getting raped by jack the ripper. Handjob. Q: Whats thirty feet long and smells like urine? A: Line dancing at a nusing home. Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? A: Snowballs. Q: What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.? A: E.T. Q: What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates? A: A tearjerker. Vote:Tags: dirty, marriage, womenTweet What's worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced.One-liner has 75.77 % from 1058 votes. Real men don't wear pink, they eat it. Q: What would happen if you cut off your left side? A: You would be all right. Vote:Tags: dirty, insults, kids, mistakeTweet The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.One-liner has 73.22 % from 1030 votes.

Q: What's the difference between 3 dicks and a joke? A: Your mom can't take a joke. Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms? A: One's a Goodyear and the other is a fucking goodyear Q: What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A: A microwave doesn't brown your meat! Q: What do you call a gangster hobbit? A: YOLO SWAGGINS Q: What do pimps and farmers have in common? A: They both need a hoe to stay in business. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!" kandue0962 5422 706 Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Email Address subscribe Curious? Here’s last week About UsSubmissionsBooksThought ReelThe WeeklyContact More Info Privacy PolicyTerms of UseAdChoices Follow Us Twitter Facebook Tumblr Google+ YouTube RSS Hosting by VIP Powered by 2016 The Thought & Expression Co. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa. Q: Why can't Jesus play hockey? A: He keeps getting nailed to the boards.

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